Being happy as a couple includes sexuality, which is very important for a simple reason: sexuality makes the couple. You can share hobbies, vacations, housing, thoughts, laughter. If you don't have sexuality, they will say that you live as brother and sister. You are not a couple. So, to make your sexuality live and flourish is almost a duty if you want your couple to last for pleasure, not just by decision.
Any animal can reproduce. No animal knows how to make love. Humans are the only species capable of cultivating a sexual art. And an art can be learned.
If you begin in love, you will know how to reproduce. But you won't immediately know how to enjoy all the pleasures. It is normal that you feel shy, limited, indecisive, clumsy, anxious. We all go through this stage.
Then, your sexuality can become more powerful, a shared pleasure. This takes time. Especially since each time you meet someone new, you start from scratch. The other one is completely different and doesn't look like anyone you've ever known. If you think you know everything about the other sex thanks to your little experience, you'll have a hard time really blossoming together...
At the age of 25, Viviane has never experienced an orgasm while making love. "I've resigned myself, I must be frigid. So, the sooner sex is over, the sooner I'm at peace. Viviane is out of it. Orgasm comes to women sometimes early, but sometimes late. And it is not by avoiding love that she goes towards pleasure. On the contrary, she should learn to appreciate her desire, the desire of the other, their excitement and all the pleasures of sensations. That is what sensuality is all about. And this is how her orgasm can be built and surprise her one day. Not by expediting sexual intercourse.
Discover 7 expert tips to learn how to make your sexuality blossom.
Observe what your partner is doing
Look at what kisses and caresses he (or she) gives you. It's a reflection of what he or she loves.
When we are in love, during love, we try to please. And we dispense what we find most pleasurable, that is to say, what we enjoy most ourselves.
If he caresses your shoulder, your hair, if he kisses your feet or your back, know that this is what will be very pleasant for him.
Ask for what you want
Dare to express yourself, ask for more foreplay time, more kisses, this or that position. If you don't express what you like, the other person can't guess it.
One of the most common obstacles to sexual fulfillment is the belief that "when we love, we should understand each other without talking to each other. This is completely false and a source of a thousand misunderstandings. So express yourself and do more: ask the other person to express what he or she likes.
I can't ask, what can I do?
An exercise allows you to learn how to express what you want and feel: a non-sexual body massage to be practiced as a couple. Use oil and practice both naked.
Massage your partner and ask them what they like: "harder or softer? Higher or lower?", "More up or down? "More to the right or to the left? "Slower or faster movements? ». And then you switch roles. It's your turn to get a massage... Express your preferences and your pleasure. This massage allows you to learn to listen to your body, and to increase your ability to express it. Including afterwards in sexuality.
Cultivate the pleasure of foreplay
Foreplay (everything that happens before intercourse) is the key to a fulfilling sex life. And beware, fellatio or cunnilingus are sexual intercourse, not foreplay!
The foreplay is the words, the looks, then the kisses, the caresses exchanged, those that increase desire and excitement and increase pleasure.
However, young and healthy men often have little need for this foreplay, which seems superfluous to them. They don't know what they are losing: pleasure in quantity, quite simply! The longer the foreplay, the more intense the pleasure a man feels and the less likely he is to suffer from premature ejaculation. The longer the foreplay lasts, the more desire and pleasure a woman feels during sexual penetration and the more likely she is to reach orgasm.
In addition, foreplay can be very varied, since the surface of our body is vast and it allows us to explore all kinds of sensations. So, know how to explore and vary them.
Learn how to program your sexual relations
Most couples feel that they make love when they feel like it, on impulse. This is true and fortunately, but why stick to that?
The risk is to have periods without sexuality, if you are caught up in the daily routine or by worries. So, scheduling a regular sexual relationship allows for a different kind of fulfillment.
Choose an evening where you are quiet and plan a music, make a playlist, a scented candle, a mood light. Take a fragrant bath, coat your body with softening cream, wear your most stylish underwear (man or woman!) and have an erotic moment.
Knowing how to organize one's sexuality is a richness for the couple, allowing them to devote time and invest energy in sexuality, energy that increases fulfillment.
You want your sexuality to be fulfilled. Do you think a few things are enough? The answer is no.
Sexuality can be elevated to an art form. And art can be earned. Don't hesitate to read tips on sexuality, on CAT, Tantra, Kâma-Sûtra! It can give you ideas, and little by little, together we can widen your range of possibilities.
Rome was not made in a day, you have the life to discover new caresses.
Break the monotony during lovemaking
For many imaginative couples in the field of caresses, during penetration, at the time of the back and forth movements, it's always the same story.
However, at this moment, you can vary the pleasures: alternate deep and superficial movements, fast or slow, in the axis or on the side, sliding or turning... The variety of movements provides a variety of shared sensations.
Test sexual games
"I would be a computer repairman who would come to your home and seduce you..." or "I would be an experienced woman and it would be your first time, so I'd have everything to teach you.
Together, find a sexual game that amuses you both. And stage it. To remind you that sexuality is not a service, but a game that brings together two people who love each other...
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